bjones
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Yes, it is possible to fall in love without being sexually attracted to someone or even to a specific gender. Love and sex can be very confusing issues, but this is only because we are barraged with labels and the opinions of the society around us. Social pressure is a powerful force, and when our feelings do not coincide with what is considered normal by society, confusion ensues.
The first thing you need to do is get rid of your confusion. Confusion is a disheartening state that is considered one of the most severe by clinical psychologists and psychiatrists. By building up your self-esteem and assuring yourself that you are perfectly normal, your life will instantly, and possibly dramatically, improve.
You also have to allow yourself to understand that it is not necessary to take on labels. You don’t have to call yourself gay, lesbian, bisexual or anything else, but you should also accept that some of these labels have concrete definitions that should not simply be ignored.
For example, you say you are not attracted to one particular gender, but to a personality. By definition, you would actually fall into the category of bisexual. What you are describing is pretty much what that word means in modern usage. Nothing is wrong with that, and you don’t have to use the word if you don’t like it, but you should also accept that many people who label you as a bisexual don’t mean any harm. They are just looking for a way to describe your sexuality, for whatever that is worth.
The word pansexual is a newer word that means nearly the same thing as bisexual. The reason the word entered the English lexicon was to include a possible attraction to people who do not fall into either of the two traditional sexes. If you prefer the term, there is nothing wrong with that. In the future, it may end up replacing bisexual. In the end, they are all just words, and can never completely describe what you feel inside.
It sounds to me like you have a handle on your situation. You seem to know who you are and what you are all about. You maybe just need to be reassured that love is possible without sexual attraction. Love is not about sex. Love is about caring for someone, wanting to see them happy, wanting to see them grow and wanting to help nurture them through life. Love is selfless. Anyone who tries to get something, anything, out of the experience of love doesn’t understand what it is.
 Posted 4800 day ago
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